Lord Siva said:
न तपस्तप इत्याहुर्ब्रह्मचर्यं तपोत्तमम् |
ऊर्ध्वरेता भवेद्यस्तु स देवो न तु मानुषः ||
“Celibacy alone is the supreme penance. Of course, other penances (such as keeping fast and silence etc …) are good in their place, but they are all inferior to Brahmacharya. That Urdhvareta saint who has done penance over the restraint of the sexual organ is not a human-being but God.”
Brahmacharya is also hailed in Jain scriptures.
तवेसु वा उत्त्मं बंभचेरम् |
“Brahmacharya is the supreme penance.”
Lead a well-regulated, moderate married life. Even as a householder you can be a Brahmachari, by sticking to the principles of Grihastha Dharma, by moderation and regular worship of God. Marriage should not in any way lead you downwards in your spiritual path. You should keep the spiritual fire ever blazing. You should make your wife also understand the real glory of a spiritual life. If both of you observe Brahmacharya for sometime and then avoid excesses, she will give birth to robust children who will be the pride of the country. Conserved energy can be used for higher spiritual purposes. Prevention of frequent maternity will preserve your wife’s health too.Brahmacharya in Grihasthashrama is absolute moderation in sexual intercourse. Householders are allowed to visit their wives once in a month at the proper time without the idea of sexual enjoyment just to get progeny to keep up the line. This is also Brahmacharya Vrata. They are also Brahmacharins.Householders should ask their wives also to observe fasts and to do Japa, meditation and other practices, which will enable them to keep up this Brahmacharya Vrata. They should train their wives also in the study of the Gita, the Upanishads, the Bhagavata and the Ramayana and in diet regulation.Talk to your wife always on spiritual matters. Narrate to her stories from the Mahabharata, the Bhagavata. Sit with her on holidays and read some religious book. Gradually her mind will be changed. She will take interest and delight in spiritual practices. Put this into practice if you want to get rid of the miseries of Samsara and enjoy the eternal bliss of the Soul.
Young men of the present day imitate Westerners in taking their wives always with them when they go out. This practice creates a strong habit in men for having the company of women at all times. A little separation brings a great deal of pain and suffering. Many get a shock when they lose their wives. Further, it becomes very difficult for them to take a vow of celibacy even for a month. Poor, miserable weaklings! Spiritual bankrupts! Try to be away from your partners in life as much as you can. Talk little with them. Be serious. Do not laugh or joke with them. Go along for an evening walk. What did your wise forefathers do? Assimilate from the West only what is good. Vile imitation in fashion, style, dress and food is dangerous.